Friday, July 12, 2013

Welcome to America

I am certain that by now you are on the edge of your seat just waiting to hear all about my American summer.

And do you know what they have in America that they don't have in Italy? American television. Holy moly, I am addicted. I know that I said all self-righteously that I wasn't going to watch TV because I don't watch it in Rome, but one morning I was emptying the dishwasher and using the garbage disposal and putting clothes in the clothes dryer and turning on the air conditioning and I had already listened to last week's This American Life and the current one was a re-run (um, yeah, so some of us have listened to 6 years worth of This American Life over the past year and we remember all these shows you keep re-running and it's extremely annoying that there is not a new show every week.  Is this because I never get around to sending in money during the pledge drive?)

And suddenly I noticed that there was a TV in the kitchen. There are 5 television sets in this house, but it hadn't occurred to me to turn them on because I didn't remember that there were any shows other than La Mia Mamma e' La Mia Amica (Gilmore Girls) overdubbed in Italian. So I turned on the TV. And there were over 800 channels. And they all had programs on them. I know there is that song about 162 channels and nothing on, but that is a big fat lie. There is always something on. ALWAYS.

I can only guess how many hours I've spent slack-jawed in front of the television ever since I made that fateful mistake of turning it on. Parents, let this be a warning: I know TV rots your brain and all and I must admit that I did not allow my son to be exposed to television for the first two years of his life and for the next two years he was only allowed to watch a 1/2 hour a day and even then it had to be educational like Sesame Street or Word Girl or Inside The Actor's Studio. Now of course he watches it all the time and I have to shove him aside and tell him to turn off CNN because a marathon of Say Yes to The Dress is coming on. My point being, let your kids watch TV because if you don't, the minute they discover it, they will be like me, gorging themselves on it until they feel sick. I've even reverted to my old American habit of insomnia but I don't know if it's because I truly can't sleep or if it's because my subconscious knows Roseanne reruns air at 3:00 a.m.

I love Roseanne.

Time to see if House Hunters International is on.